Wow, I really have lost my blogging groove. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, it’s just that now that it’s no longer part of my daily routine I simply forget. I guess it doesn’t help that I currently have ablsolutely no daily routine what so ever. I actually talked to a friend about that last night and we both agreed that when you are a spontaneous, creative human outside of a structured environment, the only thing you (at least kind of) do at the same time every day is brush your teeth. Sounds about right.
You know that life update post I said was dreading but kind of promised I would do? Well, here comes what I have a feeling will be the very random, scatter-brained version since I appearantly can’t make myself do a proper one.
I’m back in my hometown over the summer and for what feels like the first time, I’m free to simply be. It’s wonderful.
I’ve been working since I was 13. First to pay for my riding lessons, then to cover stable rent for my horse Sylvi and then when I turned 18, for my years in California.
Those travelling years were especially hectic. Due to the nature of the student visa I wasn’t actually allowed to work once over there, so every summer back in Finland I spent working two jobs, trying to earn enough money to pay for the upcoming year’s travels, tuition and living expences. Fast forward 3 years of that, then one whole year of just working, then studying music production for a year, and then we’ve arrived here, in the present moment. Oh boy, I guess I didn’t go for the most common ride in the park now, did I?
Speaking of common, I’m finally about to do it! Something “normal”, that is. I’ve spent these past few months applying to universities and I just found out that I got in! So if you happen to be one of the people who have silently (or not so silently) worried about my unconventional life choices, this is your cue to chill out. Take a deep breath- your girl made it. She’s gonna go study developmental psychology and actually commit to being 5 years (!) in the same place. She’s finally making something real out of herself.
I’m guessing you caught on to the sass at this point but don’t be fooled- I actually am genuinely excited. It’s true, I might have found myself the biggest, widest, most diverse box out there but I’m still in it AND I’m happy about it, so that has to count for something.
So, in the fall I will be an actual university student (let’s be real- student by day, songwriter by night) but until then, I have a few summer months that are completely empty. Except for the occational play date with the kids I used to nanny, being involved in a friends wedding and then a music gig or two.
Speaking of gig, I have one this Saturday night that I’m looking forward to! It’s at something called Midsummer Festival. Nothing big, just an outdoor, acoustic set that I’m doing with my brother. We have half an hour at our disposal, so we’ll do a mix of both covers and originals. I think it will be fun! I always find it a little extra exciting whenever I get to share some of my own music. Oh, that reminds me. Need to remember to bring that bug repellant. We’re going to be right next to the ocean and the mosquitos go nuts over there, especially at night.
Other than that, I’ve pretty much made a deal with my inner child/muse: this summer- she calls the shots. Doesn’t matter if what she wants to do doesn’t make sense. If it’s doable, I will do it.
So, last week I spent three full days reinventing a bunch of my thrifted clothes. It didn’t make much sense and it’s not directly connected to anything else I’m working on but she was right, it was fun. And I ended up somewhat accidentally starting about four new songs while I was at it.
I’m beginning to learn that my creativity works like that. I used to be a little concerned about the fact that I seem to dabble in so many different things that it at times looks like I’ll never be able to actually dive deep into one, but now that I understand it a but more I find it rather amusing. I almost feel like having all these different creative outlets is somewhat of a superpower. I never feel like I’m in a dry season. Sure my creativity takes on different forms depending on what I’m going through and what I need, but it’s always flowing. We’re always creating something, my muse and I. And if I feel like I get stuck with a song I can simply hop over to another one for a while, or I can go play another instrument, I can paint, I can grab a friend and do a fun photoshoot, I can pick up my blackout poetry book, I can write a little on here or, appearanty, even start sewing. Or whatever else my muse comes up with. She tends to know what I need to get unstuck.
Like that rainy day a week ago when I did nothing but binge the show “Little Fires Everywhere”. I can’t even remember the last time I was that inspired by anything. I highly, highly recommend it. The story, the characters, the acting- everything was fantastic. That show was the reason I picked up this blog again. And my journal. Holy crap, I hadn’t written in that thing for four months. That’s the longest journaling break I’ve had since I started journaling, and it’s been years. I even left the last entry I wrote four months ago unfinished, mid sentence. Now it feels fitting. Sums up how life went. A lot of unfinished sentences, a lot of holding breaths, not a whole lot of closure. But it turned out alright in the end.
To sum up that long winded jumble of words; life is good and I’m literally spending all day every day creating and writing songs until I in a few months embark on a bit of a new adventure where I’m planning on doing more of that plus be a real student.
Wow, that was a bit of a mess. If you’re still here, good job. You deserve a ladybug sticker and a parrot stamp. That’s what my teacher in kinder garden used to say, anyway.