I feel naked.

I feel naked
when you look at me like that.
Not because your eyes are trying to
undress my body
like so many have before
but because they don’t.

They just linger
always a little longer than what’s comfortable
always searching
always feeling
always finding their way far beyond the skin I’m in.

The moment they break through
they make themselves at home
and while I brace myself for a sudden exit
you fearlessly step inside
close the door behind you
and show no sign of ever wanting to leave.

Observing, admiring, discovering,
those calming eyes slowly make their way across every inch of my soul
with the gentlest of touches
sweeping off dust
kissing old scars
embracing the stories I’ve been ashamed to tell
while I just sit there
defenceless
watching you see me.

I’m scared now
and you know it
and yet you’re the safest person I know
and you know that too.

It’s not about you
-really-
it’s all the things you could do
if you wanted to
if you were like the ones that came before

but you’re not.

My body is shaking now
but I’m not cold.
Could we pretend that I am, just for a little while?
Hold me until I find home in your arms
until every part of me knows that I will be okay
even when I’m out in the open
this seen
this known
this illuminated.

I never thought I would admit it but when you look at me like that I feel naked

and I like it.

//Hanna

(This post is in response to Letsescapril’s prompt “naked”.)

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