I used to feel alone but surrounded
Now I am alone
but at peace with my self.
Solitude is comfort for the lonliness.
Disconnection is a beast I can’t kill
so how do I reach arms far
all the way to the other side
while fearing I will lose you
like water to the tide?
The line was cut,
the beast set loose,
I need to catch it
before it breaks through
into the hole I dug myself
right below my feet
with a ceiling spread out thin
for nothing to prevent me from falling.
I need to pin it down,
like a destination to avoid,
or I will never get away from remembrance.
I need to tie these ends together
or I will stare you down,
I’ll await your arrival and then
just long enough for me to catch you
with a quivering glimpse.
I need to know you will be here when I wake
living in my hole
so I can run away
I need to tie you down
but my string is all loose ends.
This was yet another child birthed under the covers of a 2 am mind.
It’s honest but the hours of the night seem to have a way of making you leave all your filters behind and simply allowing those pinned back thoughts to fall out.
It’s refreshing, in a way, finally being able to see them as letters on a page instead of feeling them as a whirlwind in my already turbulent brain.
Clarity is scary, but then again, so is uncertainty.
I’m learning to value honesty above all else.
And that authenticity doesn’t always look pretty.
I’m learning to let go and let the light in
One word at a time.