I realized today what a mess I am if I haven’t spent time with God, or if I haven’t had time to myself. The morning is usually when I get my alone time. I am always the first one upand everything is totally quiet. I am pretty sure that it is my favourite part of the day. I hardly ever have an alarm on, I like to wake up naturally. Today, however, was different.
First of all, my alarm woke me up. I can’t remember the last time that happened. I had to get up early though, so I guess you got to do what you got to do.
Secondly, I ended up being in a hurry so I just got ready quickly and got out the door. I was attending a prophetic seminar with Ben Armstrong. It was great and I learned a lot, but it was a long day and once I got home I felt pretty tired. Not just tired, pretty annoyed to be honest. Just fed up. I knew it had nothing to do with my wonderful friends around me, it was all me. I was going to go out with them later but I ended up staying at home by my self. I just really needed to spend time with God. It didn’t take long in his presence before all my bad moods where washed away and I was laughing and dancing around with him. He always knows exactly what I need!
Now, for me, feeling like I have to be alone isn’t very uncommon. My introversion is part of who I am and I actually love it. Nevertheless, today made me realize something. Spending time with God in the morning actually makes it so much easier to be around people all day. The fact is, I am usually surrounded by far more people than I was today. Around 1700 to be more exact. All in one room. Today wasn’t longer than any other school day, either. But when I have my time with the Lord in the morning, that big crowd doesn’t really bother me. This fascinates me when I think about it. It fascinates me that needing Him is wired into my very personality, into who I am.
I am addicted.
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.